Flawless
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Kurt and Blaine get harassed a little by a hateful church group. Kurt gets a little inspiration from one of their comments, but when he tries to get Blaine to play along, Blaine doesn't really get it. No actual slurs!


**I got this headcanon while I was eating dinner, of all things, and it just had to be written.**

* * *

"So we're definitely ordering red and yellow roses as our centerpieces, right?" Blaine asked, swinging his and Kurt's intertwined hands as they walked back to the loft one afternoon.

"Of course," Kurt said, smiling at Blaine's carefree actions. "But you have to keep Sam from making Gryffindor jokes all night."

"No guarantees there," Blaine said. "I think he mentioned something about working the house traits into his speech." Kurt sighed and dropped his head into his free hand, but before he could say anything, a shout came from his right.

"Abominations!" a haggard-looking woman screamed from the steps of a church, causing both boys to stop in their tracks and stare confusedly. There was a crowd of maybe ten people with her, all holding signs with various angry, homophobic messages on them. "You have the mark of Satan on you!"

"Jesus, really?" Kurt said, nonplussed. "It's not even Pride today, why are you doing this?"

"C'mon, Kurt, let's just go," Blaine said, tugging Kurt away from the protesters amidst more angry shouts. "God, you'd think if they really wanted to insult us, they'd go for something a little more personal."

"Actually looking at the gays makes you gay, too, B," Kurt joked as they rounded the corner to their street. "I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible."

"Crap, I must have missed that day in Sunday school," Blaine said, making a terrible faux-dejected face and snapping his fingers before opening the outside door for Kurt.

"You skipped Sunday school?" Kurt said, gasping melodramatically. "I think that means you get upgraded to a worse circle of Hell."

"Baby, we're from Ohio. There is no worse circle of Hell," Blaine said. Kurt conceded that point with a nod of his head and a flourish of his hand as he slid the loft door open, letting Blaine go in first.

"I think I'm gonna go hop in the shower, I can feel the pollen from the flower shop sticking to my skin and my allergies _cannot _go haywire on me only days before One Three Hill's next gig," Kurt said once they were properly situated indoors. "Try not to miss me too much."

"I'm already pining for you," Blaine said, swooning onto the couch. "I suppose I'll console myself with a _So You Think You Can Dance _marathon until you return to my embrace."

"You're such a dork," Kurt said, laughing the whole way to the shower.

* * *

Half an hour later, Kurt was fresh, clean, and clad in his airiest t-shirt and yoga pants. He snuggled up next to Blaine on the couch and idly watched a few routines, waiting til the commercial break to interrupt with a light "Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah, baby?" Blaine responded, eyes warm and sparkling with interest.

"That 'mark of Satan' thing from earlier is really sticking with me for some reason," Kurt said innocently, trying not to smirk too obviously. "And I think I noticed a weird mole in the shower, but I was twisted around trying to wash my back, so I couldn't see it too well. Do you think you could help me check? You might need to look _really close_." Kurt emphasized his last few words, hoping Blaine would get the hint.

Blaine, as usual, didn't get the hint. "Oh my God, Kurt, baby, don't listen to those hateful people!" he said, sitting them up so he could stare Kurt directly in the eyes, voice full of sincerity. "You are so perfect, sweetheart, so amazing with your voice and your compassion and just your _everything_."

"Would you mind looking anyways?" Kurt asked, deciding he may as well have some fun. _Let's see how naked I have to get before Blaine realizes what I really want._ "Preferably in our bedroom, so no one can walk in on us?"

"If that's what you need," Blaine said, standing up and taking Kurt's hand in his comfortingly as they walked to their room.

"You're so good to me, B," Kurt said flirtatiously. He leaned in for a kiss, but before he could deepen it, Blaine stepped away.

"So, how would like me to help you?" he asked, bouncing slightly on his heels.

"How about you take a seat on the bed, and I'll stand here in the light so you can see me properly?" Kurt asked, moving into the sunny patch by their window. "If you see something, come over and feel it, okay? There could still be shadows."

"Sounds perfect," Blaine said, flopping onto their bed. "Ready when you are!"

_You have no _idea _how ready I am, honey_, Kurt thought. "I can't remember if it was under my shirt or my pants, so I'm gonna take off both, alright?" He slowly pulled his t-shirt over his head, stretching his arms back and pulling his chest taut before tossing it away. "Oh good, there's nothing on my chest," he said, running a hand over a nipple and down his torso before turning away. "How about my back?" he asked, turning his head back to see Blaine.

"Guh- um, nope, you're fine," Blaine said, looking a little stunned. "Wait, I think- no, that's just your tattoo."

"Hmm. It must've been under my pants, then," Kurt said, only just restraining himself from winking. He undid the drawstrings of his yoga pants and pushed them down, shaking his black-brief-clad hips a little more than absolutely necessary as he stepped out of them. "Is there something on my ankle?" he asked once he was free, bending over and pushing his ass out to check. "Oops, no, I guess it was a shadow."

"Kurt," Blaine choked. When Kurt turned around to look at him, he had a hand in his hair and looked ragged. "Are you...in the mood?"

Kurt facepalmed so hard it echoed a little off the walls of the loft. "It really took you that long, Blaine?"

"You sounded so upset earlier!" Blaine tried to defend himself. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, and then suddenly I'm getting a striptease!"

"Don't sound so _distraught_ about it," Kurt teased. "Am I not hot enough for you anymore?"

"Baby, you almost burned the apartment down a second ago," Blaine said, making Kurt let out a tiny snort at the cheesy line. "How about you come here and I show you in _excruciating _detail how hot you are?"

"_Finally_," Kurt said, walking over to Blaine and plopping onto his lap so he could kiss him properly. Their ensuing activities involved many cries for their savior, none of which would normally be heard in a church.


End file.
